Gentlemen's Gazette: Week 1 — Faith rewarded. Models humbled. Shittu in crisis.
One week in, the champ still looks dangerous, Yahweh is answering prayers, and TunchieFit may already need a players-only meeting.
One week in, the champ still looks dangerous, Yahweh is answering prayers, and TunchieFit may already need a players-only meeting.
Yahweh heard the prayers
Yahweh's Champ dropped a league-high 171.3, beating TunchieFit by 86.5.
Charles keeps putting his faith in the Lord, and through Week 1, the Lord appears to be returning the favor.
How did Jeanty fall to the second round?
Long Dak Style dropped 164.5, the second-highest score of Week 1, behind a 32.7-point debut from Ashton Jeanty.
League insiders are already asking the uncomfortable question: how did the entire league let Jeanty fall to Cam in the second round?
One week is one week. But that draft-night steal is already looking expensive for everyone else.
TunchieFit or the Cleveland Browns?
The questionable draft was one thing. 84.8 points, the league's lowest total, was another.
League insiders are debating which locker room currently has worse vibes: TunchieFit or the Cleveland Browns.
Too close to call.
The champ is still the champ
Motion Man opened its title defense with 145.52, powered by 67.7 combined from Kenneth Walker and Jahmyr Gibbs.
Guru spent the offseason hearing about democracy. He appears more interested in a dynasty.
ND3's championship hangover
Last year's runner-up managed just 93.96 points against Ralphs.
For perspective, Caleb Williams and the Bears nearly scored as much as Noor's entire fantasy team.
Next up: the defending champ.
Dr. Rec's redemption tour
After watching a 14-0 season end without a championship, Ralphs returned with a 135.56-93.96 win over ND3.
The revenge tour has officially begun.
Trust LeProcess needs more LeBron
Josh Allen delivered 35.66. TLP still lost 152.56-122.46 to Team Rocket.
The organization rebranded to channel LeBron-level greatness after a mediocre draft.
So far, more play-in than King James.
Crashout Billy's bandwagon pays off
Crashout Billy scored 146.82 behind 26.2 from Seahawks star Jaxon Smith-Njigba.
The Gazette cannot prove Billy's newly discovered Seahawks fandom caused the victory.
Warriors historians may recognize the pattern.
The prediction desk went 1-5
The Gentlemen's new digital media contributors made six Week 1 picks.
Record: 1-5.
The only hit was Motion Man over Papito.
The technology is cutting edge. The ball knowledge remains under review.
Week 2: what we're watching
Ralphs vs. Yahweh: Two Week 1 heavyweights who combined for 306.86 points.
ND3 vs. Motion Man: A championship rematch. Noor gets an immediate chance at redemption, while Guru can send last year's runner-up to 0-2.
TunchieFit vs. Papito: Somebody has to win. Probably.
Long Dak vs. Trust LeProcess: TLP's reward for losing Week 1? Cam, Jeanty, and the team that just dropped 164.5.
Team Rocket vs. Crashout Billy: Two 1-0 teams enter. Only one hype train survives.
Booz vs. Redeem: Two 0-1 teams and our first official Dad Strength Watch for Barry J.
Week 1 is over. The receipts have begun.